They gave my body an ultimatum!!

Aw crap.

The IVF clinic closes down three times a year so they can take down all the equipment and boil it or whatever fuck they do to them to make sure they aren't dizzyingly contaminated. And when they do this, no one (and I mean NO ONE) starts IVF proceedings. At all.

So when do YOU think it is closed?

If you guessed anything other than "now" you'd be wrong. They are closed NOW and won't re-open until April 10.

So here's the ultimatum. If my period starts ANY DAY before April 10, I am canceled until the next month.

"But what if I start on the 9th?" NOPE.
"What if we delay it with birth control pills or progesterone?" NOPE.
"What if I cry on the phone and make you feel REALLY guilty?" NOPE.
"Ok, then, what if you bite my ass?" *pause* NOPE.

So even though my last stupid fucking period (for evermore known as SFP) started on March 4 and has been known to be clockwork 32 days (to spare you the math, that would pit my start date at approximately April 5), I have to beg this body to hold off until April 10.

It's not going to happen. You know why? Because my uterus HATES MY GUTS. That's why.

(And it sucks too because it is going to totally ruin my number geek streak. Dammit.)