Valentines Day Spectacular!!
I traditionally/historically don't care for Valentines Day. Why, you ask? I will tell you. I think it is a mean non-holiday.
I used to be a lonely girl. I had spouts of companionship from time to time, usually of the long-distance variety. But in high school, I was not terribly popular (think, "Square Pegs"). When "the day" would come around, the popular pretty girls would get roses from the popular pretty boys. I would wait for my name to be called, perhaps from a secret admirer, but it never came. I learned to despise February.
In elementary school, we would have obligatory valentines candy and cheap paper valentines cards. Inevitably I would get the generic stuff from the boys. "You're a swell pal" or "Happy Valentines Day!" It was so heartwarming I could vomit. I felt less loved than if I got nothing. At least then I could just claim invisibility, that if they only could SEE me, they'd fawn all over me. But when you get generic crap, you know it was thought out. They can see you, they just don't care. And don't get me started on the boys I'd send mushy cards to, only to be laughed at mercilessly.
As I got older I tried to ignore the day when it came around, but as an employed person, there would be Valentines Day around the office. That's when I got to see the men's side of the day. The poor guys would be sweating the week leading up to VD. Hallmark and jewelry dealers had done a smashing job of making women feel they deserved expensive jewelry, flowers and candy along with a card on this day. Men felt the pressure to get exactly the right thing, plus dinner, plus sentiment. They were wrecks. I felt bad for them. Also, I was alone and the day didn't matter to me anyhow.
I have come to see Valentines Day as the day when you are made to feel like shit if you are alone; made to feel like shit if you are not alone but don't get something "spectacular"; made to feel like shit if you are getting something for someone and can't think straight because of the cultural and commercial value placed on "love"; made to feel like shit if you are in an early relationship and don't feel close enough to do something, yet you MUST or be a pariah; made to feel like shit if you are in a bad relationship and can't break it off for several days ahead of VD because you'd be deemed "evil" for doing such a ghastly thing before that day. It's just not worth the $100 on dead flowers, or $100 on fattening candy or the pre-printed card that "expresses the welled-up feelings inside your soul".
Brad and I have an agreement about Valentines Day. We can do something if we want to, but it isn't obligatory. It means more to me to have spontaneous sentiment for no reason the rest of the year than a forced sentiment on one day.
I used to be a lonely girl. I had spouts of companionship from time to time, usually of the long-distance variety. But in high school, I was not terribly popular (think, "Square Pegs"). When "the day" would come around, the popular pretty girls would get roses from the popular pretty boys. I would wait for my name to be called, perhaps from a secret admirer, but it never came. I learned to despise February.
In elementary school, we would have obligatory valentines candy and cheap paper valentines cards. Inevitably I would get the generic stuff from the boys. "You're a swell pal" or "Happy Valentines Day!" It was so heartwarming I could vomit. I felt less loved than if I got nothing. At least then I could just claim invisibility, that if they only could SEE me, they'd fawn all over me. But when you get generic crap, you know it was thought out. They can see you, they just don't care. And don't get me started on the boys I'd send mushy cards to, only to be laughed at mercilessly.
As I got older I tried to ignore the day when it came around, but as an employed person, there would be Valentines Day around the office. That's when I got to see the men's side of the day. The poor guys would be sweating the week leading up to VD. Hallmark and jewelry dealers had done a smashing job of making women feel they deserved expensive jewelry, flowers and candy along with a card on this day. Men felt the pressure to get exactly the right thing, plus dinner, plus sentiment. They were wrecks. I felt bad for them. Also, I was alone and the day didn't matter to me anyhow.
I have come to see Valentines Day as the day when you are made to feel like shit if you are alone; made to feel like shit if you are not alone but don't get something "spectacular"; made to feel like shit if you are getting something for someone and can't think straight because of the cultural and commercial value placed on "love"; made to feel like shit if you are in an early relationship and don't feel close enough to do something, yet you MUST or be a pariah; made to feel like shit if you are in a bad relationship and can't break it off for several days ahead of VD because you'd be deemed "evil" for doing such a ghastly thing before that day. It's just not worth the $100 on dead flowers, or $100 on fattening candy or the pre-printed card that "expresses the welled-up feelings inside your soul".
Brad and I have an agreement about Valentines Day. We can do something if we want to, but it isn't obligatory. It means more to me to have spontaneous sentiment for no reason the rest of the year than a forced sentiment on one day.
11 Comments:
My husband and I are new converts to valentines day (both of the hating it vareity). HOWEVER, we define it, we celebrate it in our low key way and feel happy to have survived all those awful elementarymiddlehighschool days with enough of our selves in tact to enjoy each other.
Your Kroger's run in is pretty hilarious...
Sarah
I used to DREAD this day with all of my heart. I, too, was the "non-rose" girl, the "snoopy and pals" crappy card girl, the dateless computer nerd girl.
Thank God I found my husby... but I still resent VD day.
Too much pressure.
Oh, the above was me.
Jen/VintageUterus
Another gal here of the former lonely variety who also despises VD (thats's Valentine's Day, not venereal disease). Every year my girlfriend and I would plan to go to dinner and inevitabely she would be asked out at the last minute and I would be stuck at home drinking cheap wine and and listening to sappy CD's. Glad I found my hubby, but VD still sucks!
Oh, I hated those stupid little VD cards as a kid!!! Every year, we used to have to make mailboxes out of shoeboxes. I suck at art, for one, and for two, was one of the little chubby girls. Good thing I had that heart-shaped box of chocolate Dad brought home for me!!
I recall one VD when my single friends and I surreptitiously chucked Necco Sweetheart hearts at passing couples! I'm not QUITE that bitter anymore, but I still hate the forcedness of it.
-Ivy
I didn't get a Valentines from Dan...but the kitties did. What does THAT tell you?! hehehe
Oh, those are my exact sentiments about Valentine's Day, but you said it so much better than I ever could!
Troy and I don't "do" any of the holidays any more including b-days and Anniversaries. We just opened an account and stick money in it. Valentines day is worth a donation of $50.00 dollars each. Other $50.00 dollar holidays are Easter, and our wedding anniversary. B-days and Christmas are a woopping $100.00 dollars each. That makes a grand total of $700.00 dollars donated into the account each year. We then use the money for a BIG vacation out of country ( usually every 2-3 years). We went to Mexico this year so we just stared the whole donating thing again. Happy valentines day and that is $100.00 to the vacation fund...see you at easter!
Cool! An "Occasion Account". That's a brilliant idea!! I wish I'd thought of that one.
I don't get vd presents either. Erick is too busy sticking to the consumers at our flower shop. MUAH HA HA!!! Don't fall for it y'all! (um unless you're in memphis.)
I LOVE the vacation fund idea!
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home