Obligatory "Keyword Phrases" post
Every now and then, I check my webstats to find out HOW people find my website. It's truly fascinating to see what keywords direct people this way. I'd like to take a minute to address some of the more interesting keyphrases that I feel deserve a spotlight.
is ollie fertile after her period ... Hmmm... Not likely.
horses suck ... They do! It's true! They swallow, too, from what I hear.
chicken donkey chicken river ... Sounds vaguely like a shitty Kevin Costner-Native American flick to me.
pineapple juice female genital .. Just add Rum!
teen lesbians ... I was drunk. No one can prove anything! Shut up!
pictures of olivia and my baby .. That falls into the "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" category.
ass parade olivia ... Every day of my life.
soper boobs ... I don't know how Soper got mixed up in this, sorry S! Or maybe searcher meant "SUPER boobs", cause I do have the Mighty Bosom of Valhalla. They can CRUSH YOU with their lightning bolt prowess. Shaaaaaazam!
how can i make olivia feel special and happy ... Buy her a box of donuts, snappy!
why is hurt my womb what is it? ... Obviously Britney has internet access now.
how is aviophobia diagnosed ... It's like this. When suspected patient gets on a plane and then from the moment the door is closed until the door is opened again there is non-stop screaming, pacing, sweating, swearing, drinking, gulping, and constantly looking out the window for little green men---your patient is aviophobic. (At least that's how I was diagnosed.)
how to pronounce ollie? ... "sek-see beest"
stupidbitch ... That would be moi.
why dont you have kids? ... Why don't you have a soul?
optimum time to get pregnant ... I'm guessing, ten minutes after being told to relax for the 8000th time.
is ollie fertile after her period ... Hmmm... Not likely.
horses suck ... They do! It's true! They swallow, too, from what I hear.
chicken donkey chicken river ... Sounds vaguely like a shitty Kevin Costner-Native American flick to me.
pineapple juice female genital .. Just add Rum!
teen lesbians ... I was drunk. No one can prove anything! Shut up!
pictures of olivia and my baby .. That falls into the "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" category.
ass parade olivia ... Every day of my life.
soper boobs ... I don't know how Soper got mixed up in this, sorry S! Or maybe searcher meant "SUPER boobs", cause I do have the Mighty Bosom of Valhalla. They can CRUSH YOU with their lightning bolt prowess. Shaaaaaazam!
how can i make olivia feel special and happy ... Buy her a box of donuts, snappy!
why is hurt my womb what is it? ... Obviously Britney has internet access now.
how is aviophobia diagnosed ... It's like this. When suspected patient gets on a plane and then from the moment the door is closed until the door is opened again there is non-stop screaming, pacing, sweating, swearing, drinking, gulping, and constantly looking out the window for little green men---your patient is aviophobic. (At least that's how I was diagnosed.)
how to pronounce ollie? ... "sek-see beest"
stupidbitch ... That would be moi.
why dont you have kids? ... Why don't you have a soul?
optimum time to get pregnant ... I'm guessing, ten minutes after being told to relax for the 8000th time.
6 Comments:
Okay, funny stuff, you should do stand up. I once googled "stupid crazy bitch" just to see if a certain relative's picture came up - Misanthropic Bitch did. Bizarre, disturbing website, but funny. Did you do the pineapple juice body shot during your teen lesbian experience?
I think "chicken donkey chicken river" sounds like a great title for a song. "In this next hour, we'll be playing the new single 'Chicken Donkey Chicken River' by Soper Boobs, off their hit album 'Horses Suck'...."
haha where do you come up with this stuff?! lol
HAHAHA, Soper, that's perfect.
Tiffanni, it ASTOUNDS me what people type into that little Google box and wind up on my website. Sometimes it is scary the creepy stuff that I see on my keyword search page. I didn't include the scary stuff.
Wow, you certainly write about some interesting things ... I didn't know how soper this blog was until I saw this stuff.
Evelin
That was 'soper'! Get it? Ha ha? Yeah, just ignore, I wouldn't blame you. Seriously too funny.
Bwahahahahahahaha.
xxoo,
Emily
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