Thar's GOLD in them thar veins..
Moving right along..
I had my pre-op appointment this morning. You know, where they scare the living bejeezus out of you with the details of exactly WHAT they are going to do to you. I get twitchy when words are thrown around like "Catheter", "Throat Tube", "Extreme Nausea" and "Maybe more than just a couple incisions."
Before the details were laid out, I had Prospector Jane digging for gold in my poor sad little left arm. Eventually she found it before everything grew dark around me. It's not the bloodletting that makes me woozy, it's having a needle twisting and turning in my arm, banging into nerve after nerve that unsettles my tummy. She asked me something like, "Blah blah blah.. that TV doctor... Doogie Howzer?" I was in the middle of blacking out, so I have no idea what she was asking, but I hope the first part of that question wasn't, "So did you hear your surgery will be performed by..."
Back in the exam room, I answered all the pertinent questions about my general health, growing more and more convinced that my body is a klunker and I should be looking into trading it up for a shiny new model soon. Then came the Q&A. My turn.
RE: "Do you have any questions or concerns?"
Me: (pulling out notebook) "The pain in my diaphragm area, will you be taking a look there? I know diaphragmatic endo is rare, but hey I like to buck the odds."
RE: "Umm. Yes. I will be."
Me: "Is there a chance my endo is related to my asthma?"
RE: "Potentially."
Me: "What about this year's hot trend, recurrent miscarriages? Is there a potential link?"
RE: "That is a debate within the medical community. Some of us think yes, others say no, still others are undecided. I think yes, because if you have endo, your hormones are [out of whack] and it stands to reason that it can convince your otherwise pregnant body that it is period time. Also, if the overall health isn't great, it's more difficult to sustain a healthy pregnancy."
Me: "And the #1 concern: I am scared silly that you are going to go in there, have a look around, then come back out and say, 'Everything looks clean.'"
RE: "I am not going to guarantee you, but I can pretty much say with almost absolute certainty that that won't happen."
Me: "Explain."
RE: "I don't prescribe or perform a laparoscopy unless I am ABSOLUTELY sure there is going to be something there. Knowing what you are going through, your symptoms and your history... there's going to be something in there worth checking out. I can almost promise you that. I am pretty excited about it."
Me: "Ok, but if you do find Jimmy Hoffa in there, would you smack him around before letting him go? That crap he's been doing to my diaphragm hurts a lot."
RE: "....."
Me: "Nevermind. See ya Monday."
I had my pre-op appointment this morning. You know, where they scare the living bejeezus out of you with the details of exactly WHAT they are going to do to you. I get twitchy when words are thrown around like "Catheter", "Throat Tube", "Extreme Nausea" and "Maybe more than just a couple incisions."
Before the details were laid out, I had Prospector Jane digging for gold in my poor sad little left arm. Eventually she found it before everything grew dark around me. It's not the bloodletting that makes me woozy, it's having a needle twisting and turning in my arm, banging into nerve after nerve that unsettles my tummy. She asked me something like, "Blah blah blah.. that TV doctor... Doogie Howzer?" I was in the middle of blacking out, so I have no idea what she was asking, but I hope the first part of that question wasn't, "So did you hear your surgery will be performed by..."
Back in the exam room, I answered all the pertinent questions about my general health, growing more and more convinced that my body is a klunker and I should be looking into trading it up for a shiny new model soon. Then came the Q&A. My turn.
RE: "Do you have any questions or concerns?"
Me: (pulling out notebook) "The pain in my diaphragm area, will you be taking a look there? I know diaphragmatic endo is rare, but hey I like to buck the odds."
RE: "Umm. Yes. I will be."
Me: "Is there a chance my endo is related to my asthma?"
RE: "Potentially."
Me: "What about this year's hot trend, recurrent miscarriages? Is there a potential link?"
RE: "That is a debate within the medical community. Some of us think yes, others say no, still others are undecided. I think yes, because if you have endo, your hormones are [out of whack] and it stands to reason that it can convince your otherwise pregnant body that it is period time. Also, if the overall health isn't great, it's more difficult to sustain a healthy pregnancy."
Me: "And the #1 concern: I am scared silly that you are going to go in there, have a look around, then come back out and say, 'Everything looks clean.'"
RE: "I am not going to guarantee you, but I can pretty much say with almost absolute certainty that that won't happen."
Me: "Explain."
RE: "I don't prescribe or perform a laparoscopy unless I am ABSOLUTELY sure there is going to be something there. Knowing what you are going through, your symptoms and your history... there's going to be something in there worth checking out. I can almost promise you that. I am pretty excited about it."
Me: "Ok, but if you do find Jimmy Hoffa in there, would you smack him around before letting him go? That crap he's been doing to my diaphragm hurts a lot."
RE: "....."
Me: "Nevermind. See ya Monday."
9 Comments:
You should've let me know. I woulda let you borrow my veins for the day. Nurses LOVE my veins...I could give blood in my sleep I think.
Anyway, I am glad that this appt. is over and your surgery is next on the list.
That is awesome that your dr is so confident that he will find something. It will be a long weekend for you, won't it?! :(
Ugh -- I hope another nurse is on duty when it's time to do the lap. I hope things go quickly and positively, and that it's behind you soon.
Good for you for being so prepared and pushing your doctor!! You are my hero. You are going to be just fine, they are going to find something (or someone) in there that's been causing all the trouble, and you will live happily ever after. OK, so that last part doesn't happen unless your name is Snow White, but you will at least have a half a chance at getting PG soon.
This will likely sound weird, but so what.
I'm really excited that your finally going to get someone in there who seems competent. I'm dying to know what's going on in them there innards!
It was a big relief to me when I came out of my hyst/lap and finally had some answers. I hope it will be for you, too.
Julia
Uncommon Misconception
Sounds like you found a pretty good RE.
Let us all know how the lap goes. Oh, and make sure you get plenty of drugs. Lots of drugs. And then send me some. Yeah.
Jen/VintageUterus
o.k. here i am back from the land of no internet...well, i've had it at school, and as you know, your blog [yours too tiff! be proud!]is considered to be militant and pornographic, so it's blocked. so you're having a lap!! hooray!!!!!! i'm so excited. i hope you don't have snausage tube. i doubt you do. i hope they find something terrific so you can post the photo here! i can't wait to hear what's going on. *squealing with delight*
xoxo the lap queen (3 laps 1 hystericaloscopy)
I'll be thinking of you and hoping for good results, i.e., they know what it is and can fix it!
xxoo,
Emily
I had 2 laproscopies.
The first was to diagnose endo. B/c of my asthma, they dried me out too much medically and it took 3 IV bags (a record) after surgery before I could pee. Also, putting me under, I actually remember getting down to 92 in my count and reaching up to strangle someone as they put in my throat tube. These were little bumps in the road. Overall, it wasn't tough. Surgery was Monday and I was back at work Wednesday or Thursday.
In the mean time, I started and led an endo support group. Had lupron and provera, gained 50 lbs. Got a son out of it, at least.
My second surgery was to do a SIF check, too, and remove yet another cyst, plus zap endo. She said there was no endo (my worst fear, to have nothing to hang this pain and SIF on - but total BS I think) and the whole thing only took 45 minutes. She must have had a breakfast date and was shooing me aside. I told them about the dehydration and memory issues ahead of time. They listened and that stuff went like a charm. I bounced back even sooner that time.
It was about 7 years between surgeries. In the mean time, I had a colonoscopy and woke up in the midst of that, too. I must be like one of those drunks who just won't pass out.
Good luck on Monday. The surgery isn't bad. Honest. I still mourn my once-pretty, tiny belly button, but that is another topic completely.
Good luck on Monday! I hope everything goes well for you.
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