VOTING TIME!
Place your votes for 2004 Jackass of the Year Awards... And the Nominees are:
Jackass Physician:
Dr. Love, who made incredibly poor judgement in the diagnosis of Getupgrrl. He neglected to notice on multiple ultrasounds, HSGs and SHGs that her uterus WAS INDEED t-shaped. Instead he told her it was "fine" and then proceeded to overcook her eggs and blame them for the losses. All the while maintaining a suave and "caring" facade while coaxing her into a procedure that could very likely have killed her and her unborn child had it gone any further.
Dr. Leondaris at "The Clinic" in Norwalk, CT, for smugly sitting there and telling Susinalexa he wouldn't even consider cycling with her because it would screw up his pretty numbers and then asking her why she wasn't crying. "Don't be afraid to cry. I make a lot of women cry," he said as if it were something to be proud of.
Dr. StupidBitch for asking Thisgirl EVERY time.....EVERY TIME she was in her office "You already have a child don't you?"
Jackass Medical Staff Member:
Nurse VeinSearch, who decided that Digging For Veins should be a sport.
Wand Monkey--they're all pretty much the same.
"Not My Job" Lab Tech who refused to accept Sandy's husband's sperm sample, even though she was standing there, in the middle of the hallway, holding it and crying.
Mary Bobbins Jen P.'s mid-wife's British back-up who told her that cramps at 7 weeks meant imminent miscarriage and to please give her a call when the bleeding started, throwing Jen into a horrible loop. No bleeding yet, bitch!
That Nurse who suggested Akeeyu go off painkillers during her period, despite that pesky tendency of hers to (oops!) black out from pain.
Satan's niece, the lab tech at the hospital the day of my d&c, just after I'd had an ultrasound reveal my baby had died. Confusing my mournful sobbing with a tearful fear of the needle, she kept squawking "just relaaaaaaaax, just relaaaaaaaax.." over and over in this shrill Minnie Mouse with strep voice. Then the bitch told Brad and I with a peppy giggle that "Ya know, whenever something bad happens to me, I think back to something bad that happened two or three years ago and JUST CAN'T remember why it seemed so bad at the time."
Jackass Assvice Giver:
The Twilight Zone Gyno who told Oro's friend E that the optimum time to get pregnant was during the 5 days before and after her period. (that one stuns me.)
SILs From Hell My SILs L & C are in the minority of SILs who have common sense and decency when it comes to infertility and miscarriages. However many SILs suck ass and are ready and willing to offer up tons of useless advice on how to get pregnant, stay pregnant or alternatives to pregnancy.
Dr. Love- He's supposed to know what the hell he's doing and he f!@#ed getupgrrl around for years.
The Visualizer who has said to "visualize" ovulating (nurse), sperm swimming (nurse), sperm impregnating (nurse), periods (husband), implantation (husband), twins (another nurse), no twins (BOSS!), happy places (therapist), not spotting (mother), or migrating placentas (Midwife) (from Anonymous).
The Aunt who said "you should just take a cruise and you will get pregnant."
The Lucky Helpful whose mantra is "I got pregnant, SO CAN YOU!!"
Jackass Assvice:
"Just relax."
"It was God's will."
"It's so good that adoption takes long time. It will give you and Matt time to grow up!" (from Jen P.)
"Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't have children....because not everyone is meant to have children you know!"
"Touch me and you'll get pregnant. I am SOOO fertile."
Jackass Troll:
Holly
The Anti-Adoption League
The Childfree Advocates
Vote now folks. Winners will be announced New Years Day.
Jackass Physician:
Dr. Love, who made incredibly poor judgement in the diagnosis of Getupgrrl. He neglected to notice on multiple ultrasounds, HSGs and SHGs that her uterus WAS INDEED t-shaped. Instead he told her it was "fine" and then proceeded to overcook her eggs and blame them for the losses. All the while maintaining a suave and "caring" facade while coaxing her into a procedure that could very likely have killed her and her unborn child had it gone any further.
Dr. Leondaris at "The Clinic" in Norwalk, CT, for smugly sitting there and telling Susinalexa he wouldn't even consider cycling with her because it would screw up his pretty numbers and then asking her why she wasn't crying. "Don't be afraid to cry. I make a lot of women cry," he said as if it were something to be proud of.
Dr. StupidBitch for asking Thisgirl EVERY time.....EVERY TIME she was in her office "You already have a child don't you?"
Jackass Medical Staff Member:
Nurse VeinSearch, who decided that Digging For Veins should be a sport.
Wand Monkey--they're all pretty much the same.
"Not My Job" Lab Tech who refused to accept Sandy's husband's sperm sample, even though she was standing there, in the middle of the hallway, holding it and crying.
Mary Bobbins Jen P.'s mid-wife's British back-up who told her that cramps at 7 weeks meant imminent miscarriage and to please give her a call when the bleeding started, throwing Jen into a horrible loop. No bleeding yet, bitch!
That Nurse who suggested Akeeyu go off painkillers during her period, despite that pesky tendency of hers to (oops!) black out from pain.
Satan's niece, the lab tech at the hospital the day of my d&c, just after I'd had an ultrasound reveal my baby had died. Confusing my mournful sobbing with a tearful fear of the needle, she kept squawking "just relaaaaaaaax, just relaaaaaaaax.." over and over in this shrill Minnie Mouse with strep voice. Then the bitch told Brad and I with a peppy giggle that "Ya know, whenever something bad happens to me, I think back to something bad that happened two or three years ago and JUST CAN'T remember why it seemed so bad at the time."
Jackass Assvice Giver:
The Twilight Zone Gyno who told Oro's friend E that the optimum time to get pregnant was during the 5 days before and after her period. (that one stuns me.)
SILs From Hell My SILs L & C are in the minority of SILs who have common sense and decency when it comes to infertility and miscarriages. However many SILs suck ass and are ready and willing to offer up tons of useless advice on how to get pregnant, stay pregnant or alternatives to pregnancy.
Dr. Love- He's supposed to know what the hell he's doing and he f!@#ed getupgrrl around for years.
The Visualizer who has said to "visualize" ovulating (nurse), sperm swimming (nurse), sperm impregnating (nurse), periods (husband), implantation (husband), twins (another nurse), no twins (BOSS!), happy places (therapist), not spotting (mother), or migrating placentas (Midwife) (from Anonymous).
The Aunt who said "you should just take a cruise and you will get pregnant."
The Lucky Helpful whose mantra is "I got pregnant, SO CAN YOU!!"
Jackass Assvice:
"Just relax."
"It was God's will."
"It's so good that adoption takes long time. It will give you and Matt time to grow up!" (from Jen P.)
"Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't have children....because not everyone is meant to have children you know!"
"Touch me and you'll get pregnant. I am SOOO fertile."
Jackass Troll:
Holly
The Anti-Adoption League
The Childfree Advocates
Vote now folks. Winners will be announced New Years Day.
9 Comments:
My votes, although they are all top-notch runners:
Jackass Physician:
Dr. Love - I don't even know what to say about this guy.
Jackass Medical Staff Member:
Satan's niece, the lab tech at the hospital the day of my d&c, just after I'd had an ultrasound reveal my baby had died. Confusing my mournful sobbing with a tearful fear of the needle, she kept squawking "just relaaaaaaaax, just relaaaaaaaax.." over and over in this shrill Minnie Mouse with strep voice. Then the bitch told Brad and I with a peppy giggle that "Ya know, whenever something bad happens to me, I think back to something bad that happened two or three years ago and JUST CAN'T remember why it seemed so bad at the time." - This woman needs to die.
Jackass Assvice Giver:
The Twilight Zone Gyno who told Oro's friend E that the optimum time to get pregnant was during the 5 days before and after her period. - this one stuns me as well. Did he get his degree in a box of CrackerJack?
Jackass Assvice:
"Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't have children....because not everyone is meant to have children you know!" - Always meaning "But obviously I AM AND GOD LOVES ME AND THINKS YOU SUCK SO NA-NANNY-BOO-BOO!" Stabbing's too good for them.
Jackass Troll:
The Childfree Advocates - People who think that someone else's attempt to have a child is a comment on their own lives. Far, far too wrapped up in other people's decisions for their own good.
1. Dr. Love without a doubt.
2. I'm tied between Mary Bobbin and Satan's Niece, but with strong leanings towards Satan's Niece (that's probably one of the most horrible stories I've heard and that bitch would have been throttled by me).
3. SIL's from hell.
4. Assvice -- G-d's will, most definitely. I have had that one said to me the DAY I found out my FSH was high AND the DAY I was miscarrying -- both from the same imbecile. No, I do not take her calls anymore.
5. Holly. I'm sure that bitch will win by a landslide.
xxoo,
Emily
Let's see.
Dr. Love.
Satan's neice.
SILs.
God's Will.
Holly.
So, um, what do they win? A brisk thwomp upside the head? Do we get to deliver it personally? Can we watch? Can we get digital video footage?
yep - gotta go with Akeeyu on these choices.
Dr. Love.
Satan's neice.
SILs.
God's Will.
Holly.
Dr. Love - By a landslide
Satan's Niece - I believe that there's a tiny room in hades reserved for nurses that dig for veins while blaming it on you, but this is another no-brainer.
Lucky HelpfulMassive tie on Jackass Advice.
Tough - there are so many fine Jackasses to choose from. But if I must...
1. Dr. Love. Definitely.
2. Ooh. This is harder. I'll go with Satan's Niece by a hair. (Although really I want to vote for ALL lab techs who have failed their compassionate-bedside-manners courses -- it's hard to pick just one.)
3. SILs (even though I don't have one).
4. Just relax. Argh.
5. Holly, by a landslide.
My Votes:
1) Dr. Love
2) Satan's Niece
3) SIL's -- hands down
4) "Touch me and you'll get pregnant!" I HAAAATE that one. Grrrr.
5) The Childfree Advocates
Jackass Physician : Dr. Love
Jackass Medical Staff Member :Satan's Niece
Jackass Assvice Giver:The Visualizer who has said to "visualize" ovulating (nurse), sperm swimming (nurse), sperm impregnating (nurse), periods (husband), implantation (husband), twins (another nurse), no twins (BOSS!), happy places (therapist), not spotting (mother), or migrating placentas (Midwife) (from Anonymous).
Jackass Assvice:"Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't have children....because not everyone is meant to have children you know!" I voted for mine because I forgot to tell you that the person who said this to me had just had a baby ( 5 months old). I was rocking the baby with my foot in its bouncey chair as she was doing my hair. She was a closer friend and a hair dresser. She was on mat leave a few of us where going to her house to make it easier on her. After this I stopped going to her for my hair.
Jackass Troll: Holly
For physician I'm going to go with the masses and vote for Dr. Love (even though I nominated Dr. Stupid Bitch, my silly little gripe just doesn't compare).
For medical staff: Mary Bobbins
For assvice giver: The Aunt who said take a cruise. I got this same assvice, took the cruise (got back last week) and got my damn period 3 days ago. Crap assvice.
For assvice: "It was God's will."
Troll: Holly
thisgirl
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