The Twelve Days of Christmas (accd to me)

Ok, here's what I want this year (everyone--sing along!):

Twelve-pack of Bass Ale
Eleven pounds off my waistline
Ten pedicured toenails
Nine months, then a baby
Eight Ball that works right
Seven scented candles
Six-figure salary
Fiiiiiiiiiiivvvve healthy caaaaaaaats!
Four brand new towels
Three new pairs of shoes
Two tickets to the beach
And a maid to clean my house.