I think I'm getting better...
I am either less of an emotional wreck, or my emotions are dormant. Either way, it is a welcome relief. How do I know this?
▪ I no longer look at pregnant women and have to run to a dark corner to cry.
▪ I can wish my stepsister well on her pregnancy (and ask how she's doing).
▪ I can offer up advice to newbies just learning about their reproductive problems without inserting bitter remarks.
▪ I can walk past maternity stores without crumbling.
▪ I can objectively look at the box of Similac samples that came to me in the mail and put it away on a shelf in my kitchen, just in case it is some day needed by me or someone else.
▪ I can put baby-laden Christmas cards from friends on my mantle rather than crying and going into seclusion for my own misfortune.
▪ I can actually see myself trying to get pregnant again.
▪ I feel strangely optimistic all of a sudden.
▪ I can carry on lengthy discussions with my coworker about his two beautiful children.
▪ I feel very honestly happy for others who have struggled for so long and are finally seeing a light at the end of the long, dark and scary tunnel.
I am hoping this is not just an empty, battered emotional bank at work. I hope this is my soul finally healing. I am sure this is just a passing dementia, though. Check back with me in early January when what should have been the due date arrives. I am sure all of the above will change when January 4 appears on the calendar.
▪ I no longer look at pregnant women and have to run to a dark corner to cry.
▪ I can wish my stepsister well on her pregnancy (and ask how she's doing).
▪ I can offer up advice to newbies just learning about their reproductive problems without inserting bitter remarks.
▪ I can walk past maternity stores without crumbling.
▪ I can objectively look at the box of Similac samples that came to me in the mail and put it away on a shelf in my kitchen, just in case it is some day needed by me or someone else.
▪ I can put baby-laden Christmas cards from friends on my mantle rather than crying and going into seclusion for my own misfortune.
▪ I can actually see myself trying to get pregnant again.
▪ I feel strangely optimistic all of a sudden.
▪ I can carry on lengthy discussions with my coworker about his two beautiful children.
▪ I feel very honestly happy for others who have struggled for so long and are finally seeing a light at the end of the long, dark and scary tunnel.
I am hoping this is not just an empty, battered emotional bank at work. I hope this is my soul finally healing. I am sure this is just a passing dementia, though. Check back with me in early January when what should have been the due date arrives. I am sure all of the above will change when January 4 appears on the calendar.
7 Comments:
Ah, Melissa - it's an awesome corner to turn, isn't it? It's such a relief to feel ALMOST like a normal person again. I am so happy that you're feeling well. It makes me feel so much better, knowing that you're OK, at least for this minute. Even if it doesn't last - at least you can be happy through the holidays. And some happy time is better than no happy time. Happy Holidays to you - I hope you enjoy them - you certainly deserve it! (And that goes for your awesome husband, as well!) -Kym
Wow -- I'm so glad you've hit a good patch! I hope it lasts, but even if it doesn't, it's nice now, isn't it? Happy, happy holidays.
I hope that it's a sign of a good kick ass year to come!! YEah!!!!
You're my hero.
Sounds like a delightful Christmas present to me ... some hope and peace for the time being ...
Evelin
I'm glad you are in a better, more positive state of mind. I wish I were. Hopefully I will join you there soon babe.
When a good patch comes along, I never second guess it, just take it and run with it. Could it be that optimism is coming from the fact that in January you will finally be getting something done for you?? Whatever the reason, grasshopper, enjoy it.
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