The 2004 Jackass Award nominations
Hey there everyone! Welcome to the 1st Annual Jackass Award nominations! Time to place your nominations for this year's categories (please provide small summary of why someone is being nominated).
* Jackass Physician
* Jackass Medical Staff Member (other than Physician)
* Jackass Assvice Giver
* Jackass Assvice of the Year
* Jackass Troll
* Jackass Physician
* Jackass Medical Staff Member (other than Physician)
* Jackass Assvice Giver
* Jackass Assvice of the Year
* Jackass Troll
19 Comments:
Oo, goody:
Jackass Physician: Aberdeen Infertility Clinic. Why go with just one doctor when so far all of them have sucked?
Jackass Medical Staff Member: Nurse VeinSearch, who decided that Digging For Veins should be a sport
Jackass Assvice Giver: My friend E's gyne, who told her that the optimum time to get pregnant was during the 5 days before and after her period
Jackass Assvice of the Year: that perennial favorite, Just Relax
Jackass Troll: Holly
Woo, that was fun!
Oh my Ollie.
This? Might take a bit. But you know that I nominate Wand Monkey for Doctor Fool of the year. I'll work on the others. Might be hard to beat the ones above tho.
So many to choose from.
I would like to nominate the lab techs who refused to accept my husband's sperm sample, even though I was standing there, in the middle of the hallway, holding it and crying. See my blog's December 3/04 entry for the full story. Jackass extraordinaire! Yay for this topic!
* Jackass Physician -- Dr. Love via Grrl's blog
* Jackass Medical Staff Member (other than Physician) -- Mary Bobbins, my mid-wife's Brittish back-up who told me that cramps at 7 weeks meant immenent miscarriage and to please give her a call when the bleeding started. Talk about throwing me into a horrible loop. No bleeding yet, bitch!
* Jackass Assvice Giver -- All sister-in-laws of infertile women
* Jackass Assvice of the Year -- My sister-in-law: "It's so good that adoption takes long time. It will give you and Matt time to grow up!" Not that ttc for 3 years hasn't taught us how much we want to be parents or anything. Gosh, I love sister-in-laws.
* Jackass Troll -- Holly
I would love to know more about this troll, Holly. It is familiar, but I can't place her...
Holly is a huge meanie who decided to torture Cecily after the loss of her precious sons. She is evil incarnate and should be placed in an extra hot spot in hell.
But that's just my opinion.
K
Dr. Love, indeed.
Oh, and most definately Holly, but the Brats folks are a close second.
Marla
Middle Way
Jackass Physician: Dr. Love.
Jackass Medical Staff Member: That nurse who suggested I go off painkillers during my period, despite that pesky tendency of mine to (oops!) black out from pain.
Jackass Assvice Giver: I'm going to second 'SILs everywhere.'
Jackass Assvice: "It's God's will."
Jackass Troll: Holly. She's quite the little assholly.
I have a good one for Jackass Assvice of the year.
"Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't have children....because not everyone is ment to have children you know!" Thanks, I never thought of it that way but your right. I am not ment to have children but those who abuse their kids are. I find this a real comfort after everything I have been through. Maybe Halmark could use it in a greeting card....what do you think?
I know 2 for trolls.
http://icantbebrokencani.typepad.com/broken_or_not/2004/12/fear.html#comments (anon named guess)
http://zia.blogs.com/wastedbirthcontrol/2004/11/fun_times_at_th.html (Holly)
Oo, wait, can I change Jackass Doctor from Aberdeen Fertility Clinic to Dr Love, too? I mean, jeez, at least I know I'm getting fucked over...
Oro
Oh, goodie. I love a good vent!
1. Worst Jackass Physician in the world: Dr Leondaris at "The Clinic" in Norwalk, CT, for smugly sitting there and telling me he wouldn't even consider cycling with me because it would screw up his pretty numbers and then asking me why I wasn't crying. "Don't be afraid to cry. I make a lot of women cry," he said as if it were something to be proud of.
2. Jackass other: The wand monkey who told getupgrrl that it was impolite to touch the ultrasound monitor.
3. Assvice giver: Definitely Dr. Love. He's supposed to know what the hell he's doing and he f!@#ed getupgrrl around for years.
4. Assvice of the year: my sister who has said to me over and over again, "You're really not missing out on much by not having a kid," while she sits in her garage smoking, watching NASCAR and knocking back a six pack or two the entire time I'm on the phone long distance with her now teenage son trying to explain his trig homework to him because she can't be bothered.
5. Definitely Holly. What that person did to Cecily was cruel and inhumane. It was actually a man trying unsuccessfully to convince us all that he was a "caring mother of 2 who would rather die than have a D&C," even if there was ZERO percent chance that the baby would survive anyway. I guess it never occurred to this dickhead that such a choice would then leave his already born children "motherless." I guess even their right to have a living parent is less important than those of a fetus.
I would like to nominate my now former OB/GYN Dr. StupidBitch for asking me EVERY time.....EVERY TIME I'm in her office "You already have a child don't you?"
Uhhhh.....NO!!! NO! NO! Last time I finally asked her if she could please make a note in my file so she could remember.
This happened no less than 6 times.
Oops...forgot to sign my post. The Dr. StupidBitch nomination came from me:
thisgirl
thisgirl.blog-city.com
* Jackass physician -- Dr. Love
* " " Medical Staff -- I have too many to name here.
* " " Assvice Giver -- Also too many to name here.
* " " Assvice of the year -- I'm still shoveling out from under to declare a winner.
* " " Troll -- without a doubt, Holly. Which should have an alternate spelling C--t, but prounced Holly.
Emily
This pretty much covers all nominees accept the trolls.
ANYONE who has told me to "visualize" ovulating (nurse), sperm swimming (nurse), sperm impregnating (nurse), periods (husband), implantation (husband), twins (another nurse), no twins (BOSS!), happy places (therapist), not spotting (mother), or migrating placentas (Midwife).
I swear to God, you'd start to think this was all a positive thinking problem.
I'll throw in an extra nomination for Dr. Love- I think Grrl has shown incredible restraint for not taking out pop up ads on every infertility site with "Wanted:
For condescending kindness and diagnostic rigidity in the face of his own incompetance" emblazoned across his trustworthy face.
As for Trolls- They haven't told me to visulaize anything yet. I would choose to visualize unpleasant things happening for those from the Childfree Sites- particularly the ones that blasted Julie just after Bat was born.
My turn to toss in my personal nominations..
Jackass Physician: Dr. Love, no question.
Jackass Staff Member: Satan's niece, the lab tech at the hospital the day of my d&c, just after I'd had an ultrasound reveal my baby had died. Confusing my mournful sobbing with a tearful fear of the needle, she kept squawking "just relaaaaaaaax, just relaaaaaaaax.." over and over in this shrill Minnie Mouse with strep voice. Then the bitch told Brad and I with a peppy giggle that "Ya know, whenever something bad happens to me, I think back to something bad that happened two or three years ago and JUST CAN'T remember why it seemed so bad at the time."
Jackass Troll: Holly sounds like a winner to me.
Glad to see you nominated Satan's niece - I thought of her the second I read the list of categories. So I second that vote!
Julia
Uncommon Misconception
I will THIRD that nomination. Does that make it official???
You should add a 'Jackass Reproductive Organ Of the Year Award' category.
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