In which I try to move forward...

The past week has sent me into a spiral. One that I didn't need to get into. I have enough coming ahead and enough behind me that I don't need to add the burden of politics to. Bottom line--the election is over, I can do nothing about it or what comes next. I have to move on.

I had deleted a post yesterday because things got out of hand. A person I know in real life commented, thinking he was being supportive. It was interpreted as a lecture on my voting practices. Something I didn't want or need right now or ever, particularly on top of everything else I am dealing with post-election. Perhaps I overreacted, perhaps not. Honestly I don't even know anymore. I stay angry and hurt all the damn time, so I don't even know what's real anymore. So before I could stew even further, and make things infinitely worse, I chose to delete it and all comments within. That is my first step in getting over it.

I have more to worry about. Such as what should be a sonohystogram on Monday, that may have to be postponed. Apparently the cysts have done more damage than I expected. I am on cycle day 6 and this period is still going strong, and painful as hell. I was told that if I still had so much as spotting they will not perform the procedure. I can't really optimistically say it will be over by Monday. Not at this pace.

I've had new pains this month as well. Massive, unusual pain that I've only ever felt during the endometrial biopsy. Cervical pain. And I don't even know why. But after a muscle relaxer, a Vicodin and a Naproxen washed down with a glass of wine I finally had some relief. Dangerous cocktail? Yes. Worth it? Yes. Pain, folks. Bad stuff that had Brad ready to take me to the ER.

So I am hoping that when I call to postpone the sono Monday, they offer up an alternative to find out what is wrong NOW.