I have no title.

Ok, I'm back from Thanksgiving vacation, and I see what a lovely little comment I had in my inbox. I am not going to react with anger to this comment because it doesn't make me angry. It makes me sad that ANONYMOUS first didn't feel that they should identify themselves before posting something like that and second, that they don't would feel that they should say such a thing to me. I hope that Anonymous will respond to this post. I truly do. Just because I am a woman struggling desperately to bring a life into this world does not mean that should automatically think abortion should be outlawed. I am a woman and a United States citizen, first and foremost and that carries with it a lot of complex issues.

Let me make a few things clear in case anyone else doesn't know me. Every single one of my babies was a wanted child. ALL OF THEM. But if I was in a situation where my life was about to end in a seriously nasty way, and the only thing that could save my life was an abortion, it would be very, very hard, but I would most likely do it. I would need months (if not longer) of therapy afterwards, but I would do it. It wouldn't mean that I love my child any less. In my particular instance, my baby had already passed on and could not be saved, but there were still restrictions put on my body and my decision. Do you think that is right?

If it was revealed that my child had a painful and life-threatening illness, it would be hard but I would make the decision to terminate the pregnancy as an ACT OF LOVE. It wouldn't mean I love or cherish my child any less, but as a mother I could not bear the thought that my child was made to live through something like that for his or her short and precious life just because of a RULE. That isn't living.

Don't ever make the mistake of supposing that I've never seen a premature baby before. NEVER assume this. I most assuredly have. If you think I am callous to this, you are dead wrong. I know how absolutely precious and innocent a child is, regardless of his or her age in or out of the womb. It is insulting to me to say anything to the negation of this.

Most importantly, too many people are willing to allow women's rights to be trampled upon over this issue. Women are the only sex who bear a womb and the general ability to carry a child, but that doesn't mean we are machines whose only purpose in life is to bear children. We are human beings who deserve the right to make decisions for our own bodies. I know, the baby we carry isn't "our body". What about his/her rights? If I had my wish, every single baby conceived would live a long and fruitful life. But that isn't reality. Life is not a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book where you have a menu of a few set paths to go down. It isn't:

Option 1: Woman A is pregnant and will carry this child to term.
Option 2: Woman A is pregnant and will give her baby up for adoption.
Option 3: Woman A is pregnant and is going to abort her child.

There are so many shades of grey inbetween these options. Sometimes there is Option 4, Woman A is pregnant and overjoyed when she sees the double pink lines on the HPT. She thanks God for this miracle. She and her husband cry and hug and are so happy they run out and buy little cute baby things. Then one day Woman A's blood pressure rises so high that she is near death and it is because she is pregnant. The doctor tells the couple that she WILL die if the baby is not taken NOW.

Now, do you want to be the one who enters their hospital room while they are both either too stunned to speak or crying so hard that they cannot breathe and the only thing they can do is hold each other and wish they could run out the door, away forever from that reality. Do you want to be the one to look that them and say, "Ma'am I am sorry, but you must die, you must leave your husband both a widow and a grieving father because it is illegal to abort this pregnancy." That should not be said by anyone.

On the topic of abortion as a means to birth control. Personally, I wish it would not happen that way. I wish that the woman who became pregnant would be able to carry the pregnancy to term and give it to a loving couple. But sometimes that isn't the way it works. Sometimes it is a woman who has struggled to make ends meet and the child would be malnourished in the womb. Perhaps she has an abusive husband who would kill her if he learned she was pregnant. Perhaps she is a drug addict who cannot take care of herself let alone the baby she is carrying. Perhaps she is a 13 year-old girl whose uncle or brother or father or even the creepy guy down the street thought it was a good idea to rape her one night. Perhaps it is a diabetic woman whose birth control failed as will her kidneys and the life of the baby if she continues the pregnancy. Perhaps it is a teenage girl who desperately needs to finish high school so that she might have a life someday. Perhaps she is simply a woman who would rather kill herself than have a child growing in her body.

The sad truth is that the answer isn't always "give the baby to someone who will love them." If you think that is true, browse adoption sites and look at the thousands of faces who will likely never be adopted. Perhaps they were physically deformed. Perhaps they were crack babies who were mentally challenged and no one was ready to take on that challenge. While there are some awesome people out there that will adopt those children, there is simply not enough of that kind of people to go around. It is horrifying and sad, but it is reality.

The most important reality is that women are people, too, and it is not morally right to take away BY LAW her rights to make decisions about her own health and life. It is not always because she is an evil being from Hell who hates babies and just wants to see them die.