The way it goes...
Here's what I had in mind:
Me: "I hurt on my right side. Please help me."
Doctor: "Your pain is our top priority. We wouldn't want you to suffer needlessly! Please come in IMMEDIATELY and we will check you out top to bottom until we find out what is wrong."
(one hour later)
Doctor: "TADA!! Here it is!! Ok, take this pill and you will be better."
Me: "Yay!!"
What happened:
Me: "I hurt on my right side. Please help me."
Indifferent receptionist: "Yeah, I have to take your number and leave a message for the nurse to call you back..."
(four hours later I call..)
Me: "I still hurt. Please help me."
Modestly indifferent receptionist: "Please hold."
(ten minutes later...)
Nurse: "Do you have a fever?"
Me: "No."
Nurse: "If you develop a fever, go to the ER. In the meantime I will call in something to help you and will have someone call you back to schedule an appointment." *click*
(I run up to the pharmacy)
Me: "MUSCLE RELAXERS???!!! It's not my MUSCLE that hurts!" *take one anyway*
(Two hours later)
Scheduler: "Yeah, we have an appointment for an ultrasound tomorrow at 3pm."
Me: "...*gurgle*..."
INTERMISSION
(Next morning)
Me: "Ow."
(3pm)
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "Ok, we're going to do both types of ultrasound. So no you can't go pee."
Me: "OW OW OW!!!"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............."
Me: "See anything?"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............."
Me: "You've been down there a long time."
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............. *nose twitch*"
Me: "It's cancer, isn't it?"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............."
Me: "............"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "Ok, all done. Go change clothes and wait for me here."
(I do as commanded.)
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "Check with your doctor in 2-3 days for your results. Goodbye."
Me: "Goodbye???? What? Why? Who? Whah?"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "If it gets worse, go to the ER."
Me: "Dammit."
So now I just wait and hope that I don't have to go to the ER. Funny thing. ER is RE backwards. Hm.
Me: "I hurt on my right side. Please help me."
Doctor: "Your pain is our top priority. We wouldn't want you to suffer needlessly! Please come in IMMEDIATELY and we will check you out top to bottom until we find out what is wrong."
(one hour later)
Doctor: "TADA!! Here it is!! Ok, take this pill and you will be better."
Me: "Yay!!"
What happened:
Me: "I hurt on my right side. Please help me."
Indifferent receptionist: "Yeah, I have to take your number and leave a message for the nurse to call you back..."
(four hours later I call..)
Me: "I still hurt. Please help me."
Modestly indifferent receptionist: "Please hold."
(ten minutes later...)
Nurse: "Do you have a fever?"
Me: "No."
Nurse: "If you develop a fever, go to the ER. In the meantime I will call in something to help you and will have someone call you back to schedule an appointment." *click*
(I run up to the pharmacy)
Me: "MUSCLE RELAXERS???!!! It's not my MUSCLE that hurts!" *take one anyway*
(Two hours later)
Scheduler: "Yeah, we have an appointment for an ultrasound tomorrow at 3pm."
Me: "...*gurgle*..."
INTERMISSION
(Next morning)
Me: "Ow."
(3pm)
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "Ok, we're going to do both types of ultrasound. So no you can't go pee."
Me: "OW OW OW!!!"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............."
Me: "See anything?"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............."
Me: "You've been down there a long time."
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............. *nose twitch*"
Me: "It's cancer, isn't it?"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "............."
Me: "............"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "Ok, all done. Go change clothes and wait for me here."
(I do as commanded.)
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "Check with your doctor in 2-3 days for your results. Goodbye."
Me: "Goodbye???? What? Why? Who? Whah?"
Bitchy ultrasound tech: "If it gets worse, go to the ER."
Me: "Dammit."
So now I just wait and hope that I don't have to go to the ER. Funny thing. ER is RE backwards. Hm.
8 Comments:
AGGHHH....I would KILL someone! I'd go to the ER if you're still in pain. Maybe they'll tell you what's going on.
And then bill your doctor - the shmuck.
That completely sucks! I hope you feel better soon. So sorry you are going through this.
That is completely fucked up! I'm furious on your behalf! I think I would go to the ER just to ease my mind (and PAIN!) Bitchy Ultrasound Tech deserves a swift kick in the nuts. I'll do it for you. Just say the word.
Hope you get some relief soon.
Danae/Hardscrabble
WHAT???? Are you shitting me? I assume you'll be calling in the morning? Shit - it will be Saturday! OMG - what a load of crap! Let us know as soon as you get results. - Kym
I would take that f'ing GE ultrasound wand and shove it up her ass...
AND...I wouldn't even use the condom OR the gel. HA!!! Take THAT!!!
ARG! Pain is your body's way of saying HELLO, SOMETHING IS WRONG!! You would think doctors would know that. What a load of crap. The only upside is, if the tech HAD seen something terrible, I'm sure she would have given you some indication, like blanching white, or throwing up, or something. Hang in there. I'm sorry.
Med Mal! Sue the Bastards! Need an attorney? I know lots near you!
BASTARRRRRRRRRDSSSSSS> ASSHOLES.Fucknuggets.(Like that word? I do!)
You could always do what I do. Go to the doc anyway and sit directly in front of the bitch receptionist and let her watch you be all doubled over in pain. Then.... keep pestering her to let the doc see you for JUST TWO MINUTES!!! over and over again until she does. FUCK THEM. Asshats.
I hope you feel better hon. Take care.
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