Halloween Approaches...
Ollie loves Halloween. And NOT just for the candy. Shut up.
I like dressing up in costumes. It is a right hoot, I tell ya. I years past, I have been a bitchin' Bride of Frankenstein, The Bowler from Mystery Men, and I have a few ideas for this year.
1) THE INFERTILE--I really only have to add the cape and mask and voila.
2) The Infertile Bride of Frankenstein (complete with ill-fitting clothing)
3) PMS Monster (very scary)
4) Auntie Flo (scary mask and bad dye job)
5) The Crazy Cat Lady (oh wait, that's not a costume)
6) Zombie (in the spirit of Shaun of the Dead, Resident Evil and how I feel most of the time these days)
7) The Mean Lady Who Calls The Truant Officer and Doesn't Let the Neighbor Kids Talk About The Devil In Her Yard
8) The Baby Dust Bitch
And that's where I run out of ideas.
I like dressing up in costumes. It is a right hoot, I tell ya. I years past, I have been a bitchin' Bride of Frankenstein, The Bowler from Mystery Men, and I have a few ideas for this year.
1) THE INFERTILE--I really only have to add the cape and mask and voila.
2) The Infertile Bride of Frankenstein (complete with ill-fitting clothing)
3) PMS Monster (very scary)
4) Auntie Flo (scary mask and bad dye job)
5) The Crazy Cat Lady (oh wait, that's not a costume)
6) Zombie (in the spirit of Shaun of the Dead, Resident Evil and how I feel most of the time these days)
7) The Mean Lady Who Calls The Truant Officer and Doesn't Let the Neighbor Kids Talk About The Devil In Her Yard
8) The Baby Dust Bitch
And that's where I run out of ideas.
9 Comments:
Hee hee. Number seven just about made me wet my pants.
I love Halloween too.
hehe Crazy Cat Lady...I still never understand why that is 'supposed' to be a derogatory term.
A couple of years ago, my friend and I dressed up as PMS Girl and Estrogen Woman. We carried, tampons, advil, chocolate and a spare pair of undies on our tool belts, had capes made of dri-weave, and zapped anyone who looked at us wrong with cramp guns. Definitely a fun Halloween!
PLEASE!!!! Post a pic of you as The bowler! I am begging you, please!
I think the PMS monster is a fabulous idea!!! And the infertile ... well, frankly, that is the scariest costume of all.
Evelin
#10 could be fun. I donate some glitter. It'll get into the eyes of the Fertiles.
The other day, while at work, a coworker said "Gawd, I'm such a pussy..." and I said "That's it! That could be your costume!" She looked at me, horrified. "No, not THAT," I said. "I meant a CAT. Although..."
I then proceeded to recommend that she wear an ultra fluffy black nylon wig, strap two big pink body pillows to her stomach, and go as an enormous snatch. Because, y'know, that's just the kind of classy gal that I am.
Sam, of course, not to be outdone, recommended that she tuck a babydoll's head in between the pillows, as if crowing. "She could go as the miracle of childbirth," he said, "since everyone feels the need to shove it in your face anyway."
We are classy people, Samuel and I.
Hey Ollie! I've got it! You go as Option 1, and I'll trick or treat with you as WAND MONKEY!!!!!! Wouldn't that be a hoot? (But I've got dibs on the Reeses Cups, but I'll split the candy corn 50/50 with ya, ok?)
Akeeyu and Samuel! Hilarious. Brilliant. Made me snort with laughter. Bwahahahahahaa.
And Ollie darlin? The other options were equally fab! No 7 cracked my ass UP! I'd forgotten about that post.
Definitely go as "Babydust Bitch!!! ROFL!!! I love that! I get so eff'ing sick of hearing, "here's some babydust for ya'll ladies." I've had enough babydust "sprinkled" my way to cover my city in it... the shit don't work!!
Mimi
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