"Do you have kids?"
It is the question we've all been asked at one time or another. Tiffanni was the latest recipient. It brings up a conundrum of emotions and internal battles--do I spill the beans, or do I be polite and take their presumptuous "advice"?
Ever read Mad Magazine? Ya know the section "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"? Yeah, well, let's play that game.
Q= Do you have kids?
A= Why, do you know where I could buy some?
A= Sorry, we are sold out.
A= Nope. Your turn--Do you have genital warts?
A= Yes--they are watching you right now.
A= Hmm. Do monkeys count?
A= George says we're not allowed to talk about them in public.
A= Real or imagined?
A= Tell me more, earthling, about these... "kids"...
A= Yes, 157 of them!!
A= Ewwww, sex is dirty!
A= I donated my uterus to science.
A= *hysterical laughter*
A= No, but I bet you're going to tell me how I SHOULD!
A= Yep, just threw a litter last week--wanna buy one?
A= There was that one.. but they told me it was an alien, so they took it away.
A= I was born without genitalia--wanna see?
A= Thank you so much for asking!!!! *walk away*
Ever read Mad Magazine? Ya know the section "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"? Yeah, well, let's play that game.
Q= Do you have kids?
A= Why, do you know where I could buy some?
A= Sorry, we are sold out.
A= Nope. Your turn--Do you have genital warts?
A= Yes--they are watching you right now.
A= Hmm. Do monkeys count?
A= George says we're not allowed to talk about them in public.
A= Real or imagined?
A= Tell me more, earthling, about these... "kids"...
A= Yes, 157 of them!!
A= Ewwww, sex is dirty!
A= I donated my uterus to science.
A= *hysterical laughter*
A= No, but I bet you're going to tell me how I SHOULD!
A= Yep, just threw a litter last week--wanna buy one?
A= There was that one.. but they told me it was an alien, so they took it away.
A= I was born without genitalia--wanna see?
A= Thank you so much for asking!!!! *walk away*
12 Comments:
rofl! OMG, 'Nope. Your turn--Do you have genital warts?' Thank you!!!!! Can you imagine the looks?? That is great!!!
Thanks for the laugh. Those are hilarious.
hahahahaha!
Thanks, I needed that.
Wait, wait, I have one.
"Do you have any kids?"
"No. Go fish. Do you have any sevens?"
"No. My mother didn't have any either, so it's a family tradition."
"No, I'm saving myself for Immaculate Conception."
"No, I'm allergic."
"Well, we used to, but we sold it on eBay and made quite a pretty penny."
"Kids? I'm not sure. Why do you ask?"
(this next one only really works for the ladies)
"I don't think so, but I really got around in college, so...who knows?"
Or how about this one:
Only dead ones.
That should shut them up.
LOL you guys are so funny.
But but but------ but..... I ask that question sometimes of new people I meet.... Is it really actually rude? I certainly don't follow it up by "Why not?" or a bunch of assvice....
I'm a single mommy, and every single person I meet eventually asks "So, what does your husband do?" or some such; yes, it hurts a little and is awkward to say "Oh no, I'm not married" and watch them glance quickly back and forth between my baby and me.
The only one that REALLY got me was a "nice" girl who was once my friend, who decided to announce at an office party, while HOLDING MY CHILD, that she was "waiting to get married to have kids." I'm sorry, did you just call me a whore?
Well, this comment is going no where: I have to post as anonymous because of not having an account, but I don't mean to be the crazy offensive commenter who doesn't let anyone straighten her out, so here's my e-mail: bobbe_cooper@hotmail.com
~Bobbe
Oh, I get this stupid question all the time...
"So, when are you two going to have babies together?"
I LOVE it when they ask that!
Carrie~imaprincess12 from babydust
LOL, genital warts...very good.
Emily
scrambledeggs
Mmmm...how about...
Ohmigod! Did you find him?!?! He's been missing for days!
or
Sure! They had a great two-for-one sale at ____________ over Labor Day weekend!
Chiming in with Bobbe... I don't understand why it's rude to ask if you have kids. Asking WHY you don't have kids, or WHEN are you going to have kids - yes, that's rude. Because it implies that everyone has kids, and if you don't, you better have a damn good reason. But DO you have kids is just one of those getting-to-know-you questions that people ask. And "no" is a perfectly acceptable response.
Tracy (tracybob_one@yahoo.com)
The rudeness does not lie in the question itself. The rudeness lies in the followup comments that, in my experience, accompany the question 90% of the time.
Why don't you have kids?
You should have kids.
OH YOU SHOOOOOOULD!
Kids are great!
Don't you WANT kids?
You'll change your mind one day.
Time's ticking away!
Etc. The list goes on and on and on. And I have never had someone just ask the question and be done with it, unless I elaborate on my "no" before they have a chance to follow up. And then it hurts their feelings and they realize that yes, in fact, they have entered into my personal life a bit deeper than they really wanted to. Pretty much when that happens, I feel a bit violated. Therefore I consider it rude... or at least the cresting of a rude inquiry.
I'm not saying they can help it and I am not saying they are evil people. But unfortunately conversation that is perfectly normal in most circles can have a pretty hostile reaction. Who's fault is that? I honestly don't know, probably no one's. I just wish I didn't get the question at all.
Okay. Gotcha. I agree that follow-up questions/comments that imply that (a) you will, of course, have kids someday, (b) what the hell is wrong with you that you don't have kids? are inherently rude and deserve equally rude responses. :-)
BTW, love the red hair.
Tracy (tracybob_one@yahoo.com)
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