RE Dream Date
Dr. Frenchie is supersmooth, even if he didn't have a French accent like I expected.
He may just be a good talker, but he definitely caught our attention. A no-nonsense shoot-from-the-hip kinda guy. Points he made very clear:
1) RE #1 was in it for the money and thinks "randomly". He knows her personally, and knows that she was blowing smoke up our asses. IVF on the first date!? I am NOT that kind of girl, RE #1!!
2) Most reproductive therapy is "snake oil". They mix a bunch of concoctions, do some maneuver, you get pregnant and they take the credit. It isn't always "real" science.
3) My two endometrial biopsies were not necessary. Anything they would have revealed could have been treated harmlessly without torturing ME. Besides what they revealed was not linked to miscarriages ANYHOW and only made sure that my cervix was traumatized more than it should have been. Also, I was already being treated with progesterone, so what's the point of checking for a luteal phase defect in the first place?
4) RE #1 and RE #2 missed a lot regarding antiphilosophid antibodies and sent the testing to a lab that didn't specialize in the proper testing techniques. As he put it, we are "the real deal" and should be treated accordingly, by sending to the specializing laboratory. I will be retested properly.
5) HE WANTS TO GO AHEAD WITH THE HYSTEROSCOPY! And I can do it when I feel up to it. *hi-five!* He's not sure anything will be revealed, but there's enough reasonable doubt to check it out.
6) He wants us to see a Loss Specialist Psychologist. Because... get this... (his words)
"When a couple goes through this, they don't need someone patronizing them and saying 'relax' or 'everything happens for a reason'. That just internalizes everything and makes it harder to deal with what happened. You NEED to grieve. You NEED someone to say it is ok to be angry, upset, hurt, betrayed. It is OK to be pissed that a nice couple can't have a baby while others have babies and throw them in dumpsters. It makes a huge difference."
I think...
...and I am not sure yet....
...but I think I have a doctor crush on him. Even without the accent.
He may just be a good talker, but he definitely caught our attention. A no-nonsense shoot-from-the-hip kinda guy. Points he made very clear:
1) RE #1 was in it for the money and thinks "randomly". He knows her personally, and knows that she was blowing smoke up our asses. IVF on the first date!? I am NOT that kind of girl, RE #1!!
2) Most reproductive therapy is "snake oil". They mix a bunch of concoctions, do some maneuver, you get pregnant and they take the credit. It isn't always "real" science.
3) My two endometrial biopsies were not necessary. Anything they would have revealed could have been treated harmlessly without torturing ME. Besides what they revealed was not linked to miscarriages ANYHOW and only made sure that my cervix was traumatized more than it should have been. Also, I was already being treated with progesterone, so what's the point of checking for a luteal phase defect in the first place?
4) RE #1 and RE #2 missed a lot regarding antiphilosophid antibodies and sent the testing to a lab that didn't specialize in the proper testing techniques. As he put it, we are "the real deal" and should be treated accordingly, by sending to the specializing laboratory. I will be retested properly.
5) HE WANTS TO GO AHEAD WITH THE HYSTEROSCOPY! And I can do it when I feel up to it. *hi-five!* He's not sure anything will be revealed, but there's enough reasonable doubt to check it out.
6) He wants us to see a Loss Specialist Psychologist. Because... get this... (his words)
"When a couple goes through this, they don't need someone patronizing them and saying 'relax' or 'everything happens for a reason'. That just internalizes everything and makes it harder to deal with what happened. You NEED to grieve. You NEED someone to say it is ok to be angry, upset, hurt, betrayed. It is OK to be pissed that a nice couple can't have a baby while others have babies and throw them in dumpsters. It makes a huge difference."
I think...
...and I am not sure yet....
...but I think I have a doctor crush on him. Even without the accent.
14 Comments:
Happy, happy for you on your dr crush. He sounds very sensible. I hope this is the first step to things working out.
But pissed about #3. I had 2 of those things and it was the most intense(though short) pain on anything I have done. They showed nothing, and since I had uterine problems, not hormonal, they were worthless.
Lisa
Glad to hear you found someone who is not only knowledgeable - but crushable :)
OK...if those first few things didn't 'get me', that last one sure did! Wow! He sounds wonderful! I am so glad that you had such a good meeting with him!!!
How exciting!
~Tiff
Your new doctor sounds positively *dreamy*...a doctor who 'gets' it, unheard of! Well, I just read they think the lost island of Atlantis has actually been Ireland all along, so if they could figure that out, there can also be a doctor who 'gets' it too!
Emily
http://scrambledeggs.blogs.com/scrambled_eggs/
For goodness sake - I have a crush on your doctor!
patricia
http://laf.typepad.com/
I hope your new crush can figure out what's going on. I know it sounds "odd", but I was so relieved when I found out I have Antiphospholipid Syndrome. I finally had a "reason" for my losses. I finally had a villian to pin it on. More importantly, I had a weapon I could use against it! Bring on the aspirin and heparin!
I hope you get your answers. We all deserve at least that much.
CJ
http://www.fieldfamilynews.com/crumbsnatcher
He sounds wonderful. I think I may have to hand over my lap queen crown to you! I had 3 (incl. 1 hyst.) will this make 3 for you?? "If the duties of the new lap queen for some reason are unable to be fulfilled, the runner up, Tiff (2 laps), will reign. :)
1) I love your doctor
2) His reason for saying you didn't need the EndoBiopsy is exactly what my doctor said! (and I really trusted my doctor.)
3) I agree with his assessment of fertility treatment as snake oil. And when my doctor said he didn't know what was wrong, and told us so, I appreciated it. And when he told us that we should consider using birth control if we didn't want additional losses ... well, that hurt like a $#@%&! but I appreciated his candor as well. We had 2 more IVF tries with my insurance at that point ... and he totally could have said keep trying with the IVF/PGD and we would have.
4) Trusting your instincts on WHAT procedures to do and WHEN to do them is very very smart. I think that is the hardest thing to do for me, listening to my body and my heart.
5) We had to send our bloodwork for the APAs etc to one specific lab (in California, I think) that specialized in this work only. And it was the only lab my doctor trusted.
6) The loss specialist psychologist is a great idea. Love his quote.
7) I am so so so happy it was a good visit. I hope he's the one. FingersCrossed!!
Evelin
Woohoo! Glad to hear some good things are happening for our wonderful "Ollie!" Hope only more happy discoveries lie ahead.
Wow he definitely sounds like a winner!! Woo hoo!!!
Awesome! A good doctor is so important. I'm really glad you found one!
Karen/Naked OVary
holy schamoly, a GOOD doctor story! I'm amazed, and so very happy for you! I have a crush on him too.
Um, I *definitely* have a doctor crush on him. I...I have to go now.
Okay, who's the doctor and where is he? I might be willing to travel for him.
Seriously.
Michelle
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