Scattered Storm Clouds...

It's been one of those days.

Gloominess. I am sure I am suffering from PMS, of the worst kind. The kind that brings along a whole new series of emotions because this is the first natural period since that day. The day I had to sign the paperwork that removed evidence of my daughter from my physical body. My PMS is amplified by the acid reflux that is boring a hole in my esophagus, no doubt a result of the aspirin therapy, the migraines and subsequent handfuls of medication, and oh yeah... the stress. In case we had forgotten about that.

But there is also a very real sorrow.

Another unfairness occurred in this universe. The news comes from a woman of whom, in a heartbeat, I would call "sister", even if she is not related to me (although we *unsuccessfully* attempted to find a link in our family trees once--turns out no one in our families are related, much to our dismay.) I have not heard directly from her in so many words, but from a very brief statement I gathered that her doctor appointment today did not fare well.

A month or so ago, she was given a preliminary diagnosis of Premature Ovarian Failure--a condition in which your body goes into premature menopause. Her doctor put her on hormone replacement therapy in hopes that the condition would correct itself. Her followup bloodwork was to be determined this week. Today, in fact. Her silence bodes ill. For the hell she is undoubtedly enduring, I am devastated for her. I cannot even imagine the sorrow she is feeling, and wish I could take it away.

I am devastated for all of my friends who have been given bad news about their fertility. I can only hope that each and every one of you finds peace and happiness.

I am thinking about you, T.