Safe Takeoff, Safe Flight, Safe Landing.
Cliff's Notes version: We went to Chicago. It was good. We came home.
Full version: After a 1.5 hours of airborne shoulder tension, we landed in Chicago. What a GORGEOUS city. I dosed up on migraine meds, killed the headache, and was good to go. We wandered the streets until 2am, then made our way back to the hotel and slept like gods.
We walked many miles, and rode transit, which was delightful. We saw sights, a la Ferris Bueller. We ate damn good pizza and hot dogs. Overall, we had a GREAT time. GREEEEEEAT time. I can't wait to go back.
Cranky Points of Interest for the Chicago Travelers
Brad was almost the unwilling end of a fistfight because he dared to stand in front of some uptight macho cocko on the train, when ten other people were shoving onto the train and we had to get out of their way. I friggin' hate macho bullshit, especially unwarranted. I reeeeeally wanted to get all PMS'y on the guy. Brad handled the situation like a champ, though, simultaneously diffusing and embarrassing the hell out of Mr. Tough. Lots of attitude in Chicago.
Oh, and requiem for the women who work at Carson Pirie Scott. Ever since they had those massive, barbed sticks shoved up their asses, their souls have suffered a terrible and hideous demise. Go to hell, jewelry counter lady. And take the bitch from the petite dept with you.
We totally missed the fireworks last night because I picked up a bellyful of bacteria from one of the restaurants. No idea which one. But it wasn't a pleasant evening.
Flying Tips for the Aviophobic
1) If at all possible, fly AirTran. They have an affordable first class that I HIGHLY recommend, as it is both a smoother ride, and they give you free liquor.
2) Drink lots of liquor before and during flight. Each person has their own "comfort limit". Mine was three strong white russians over the course of an hour.
3) Find a chant/mantra and repeat it over and over again to yourself. It is calming and also forms a protective barrier bubble over the entire plane, and little cloud nymphs with SEVERAL flight hours are summoned to the cockpit to assist the already noble pilots.
4) Sleeping pills are money-wasting gimmicks, unless combined with a drink (don't overdo, however. Comas are scary.)
5) Always know where your flight attendant is. If their face appears calm and "business as usual" the plane is likely safe. Also, it is handy knowledge when you need a drink refill.
6) Clouds are pretty.
7) Devil-shaped clouds are coincidental and not a sign of pending doom.
8) Reading a good book will help pass the time, and take your mind off the turbulence. Yes, I was able to say that without laughing, although the quivering smirk might have given me away.
9) Don't read books with pending doom plotlines.
10) Don't vote for a Bush in 2004.
As great a time as we did have, I'd like to quote one of the greatest geniuses of our time, rest his soul...
Full version: After a 1.5 hours of airborne shoulder tension, we landed in Chicago. What a GORGEOUS city. I dosed up on migraine meds, killed the headache, and was good to go. We wandered the streets until 2am, then made our way back to the hotel and slept like gods.
We walked many miles, and rode transit, which was delightful. We saw sights, a la Ferris Bueller. We ate damn good pizza and hot dogs. Overall, we had a GREAT time. GREEEEEEAT time. I can't wait to go back.
Cranky Points of Interest for the Chicago Travelers
Brad was almost the unwilling end of a fistfight because he dared to stand in front of some uptight macho cocko on the train, when ten other people were shoving onto the train and we had to get out of their way. I friggin' hate macho bullshit, especially unwarranted. I reeeeeally wanted to get all PMS'y on the guy. Brad handled the situation like a champ, though, simultaneously diffusing and embarrassing the hell out of Mr. Tough. Lots of attitude in Chicago.
Oh, and requiem for the women who work at Carson Pirie Scott. Ever since they had those massive, barbed sticks shoved up their asses, their souls have suffered a terrible and hideous demise. Go to hell, jewelry counter lady. And take the bitch from the petite dept with you.
We totally missed the fireworks last night because I picked up a bellyful of bacteria from one of the restaurants. No idea which one. But it wasn't a pleasant evening.
Flying Tips for the Aviophobic
1) If at all possible, fly AirTran. They have an affordable first class that I HIGHLY recommend, as it is both a smoother ride, and they give you free liquor.
2) Drink lots of liquor before and during flight. Each person has their own "comfort limit". Mine was three strong white russians over the course of an hour.
3) Find a chant/mantra and repeat it over and over again to yourself. It is calming and also forms a protective barrier bubble over the entire plane, and little cloud nymphs with SEVERAL flight hours are summoned to the cockpit to assist the already noble pilots.
4) Sleeping pills are money-wasting gimmicks, unless combined with a drink (don't overdo, however. Comas are scary.)
5) Always know where your flight attendant is. If their face appears calm and "business as usual" the plane is likely safe. Also, it is handy knowledge when you need a drink refill.
6) Clouds are pretty.
7) Devil-shaped clouds are coincidental and not a sign of pending doom.
8) Reading a good book will help pass the time, and take your mind off the turbulence. Yes, I was able to say that without laughing, although the quivering smirk might have given me away.
9) Don't read books with pending doom plotlines.
10) Don't vote for a Bush in 2004.
As great a time as we did have, I'd like to quote one of the greatest geniuses of our time, rest his soul...
Hey, it's good to be back home again (yes it is)...
-John Denver
5 Comments:
xanax. xanax rocks my world, for flying. i've flown from seattle to athens greece, across to an island in the northeastern agean and back.. then from seattle to the uk, manchester to shannon airport and back, heathrow to san francisco and then up to home (eugene, oregon). xanax is my sanity saver. without it i'd never ever fly. and turbulence.. fun!
-brooke, brooke@rivervision.com
I'm glad you are safely back and you had a good time. I've been going into Ollie-withdrawal ... checking your blog every hour!
:)
evelin
Welcome back!! Missed ya!! I am sure your >^..^< are happy you are back too!!
Oh and what migraine meds did you dose up on??? I am desperate need of headache relief!
Migraine Cocktail: (2) Sine-Off or Chlor-Trimeton + (2) Aspirin (Excedrin if you can handle the caffeine)or Tylenol (although aspirin works muuuuuch better.)
I LOVE Chicago--it's such an edgy city and you feel like you are biting into something almost like the Big Apple but not quite. Like a reduced version
(Mmmmm, must remember AirTran)
Wouldn't it be fun to play a F. Buellerish prank on the Carson Little House on thePrairie Snot women? Maybe something involving raisins in their toothpaste tubes or something like that (raisins in your toothpaste look absolutely awful as they emerge from the tube)
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